🧠 Form vs. Meaning: Who’s Actually Wrong?

I get irritated when people confuse form and content.

Imagine a dialogue (names are fictional and have no relation to real events):

Gikhail:

— I think Harry Potter is a solid book with a well-constructed plot.

Menrikh:

— Harry Potter is a children’s book for people who haven’t grown up to Tolkien yet.

Gikhail:

— Go fuck yourself.

Who is wrong?

On the one hand, Gikhail used more offensive, obscene language. On the other hand, Menrikh was the first to decide to conduct the conversation from a position of flinging shit at the fan.

In my view, people tend to overestimate the importance of vocabulary and underestimate the importance of semantics. If you read this dialogue while replacing phrases with intentions, it looks like this:

— I’m sharing my opinion about Harry Potter and am open to dialogue.

— I’m turning the dialogue into a provocation in the hope that someone will lose their temper.

— I’m setting a boundary and ending the interaction.

When people evaluate form instead of intent, I think they’re not very good at emotional intelligence. Though, of course, telling someone to go fuck themselves isn’t exactly ideal either.